Non-Violent Communication

Disagreements and conflicts are a common occurrence in families. How we react and respond to these disagreements or conflicts that affect our relationships with that person and how we will respond to similar conflicts with others. I am learning about non-violent communication which uses the belief that we are all born as compassionate beings and aggression and violence are taught and supported by our culture views and influences.

In reading this week I though about a disagreement that my daughter and I had recently. It was a simple issue that escalated because neither of us were looking at the situation objectively. We both had judged the situation, and allowed our feelings to cloud our interpretation of what was actually occurring. As our conflict continued neither of us could hear what the other was saying or needed.

The minor disagreement could have be quickly resolved if I had looked at what was going on without placing a judgement on her actions, and then asked her what  her she needed and worked with her to meet  her needs. Asking her for her needs at that moment would allow me to compromise with her so that my needs and her needs would have been met.

The other thing that would have diffused the situation was if I had maintained respectful interactions in my body language and words. As her parent I have given her the tools of communication and conflict resolution, I need to change how I interact with her to change our relationship to create on that has respectful and responsive interactions.

My daughter and I have since been able to talk about what happened between us that day and how we both could have handled the situation in a more effective way that would have allowed up both to be gratified and satisfied with the outcome